Showing posts with label British Vogue. Show all posts
Showing posts with label British Vogue. Show all posts

Friday, October 22, 2010

The News

There has been a three-week break in blogging because I have started studying for a masters and my other The Portmanteau half has been busy with the day job. Never mind that we’ve been spotted in the pub, squeezed in trips to Dublin and managed to keep abreast of what was going down on The X Factor – we’ve been really busy, OK?

As part of my MA in journalism, I’ve been studying what news actually is and it seems that I may have been getting it wrong when I wrote about stuff like Rachel Zoe saying ‘literally’ all the time. Yeah, apparently that doesn’t actually constitute as news. Hmm. Well, anyway, I have other news I want to share with you now. Yeah okay not proper news but The Portmanteau-style news.

First up: Christa D’Souza has the same taste in men as me. Yeah, she wrote an article in this month’s Vogue on the subject of lust and mentioned her top three lust objects: “At the top of my list, in descending order, are the actor Michael Fassbender (see the sex scenes in Fish Tank), Nicholas ‘Skins’ Hoult and John Terry.”

I mean has she been reading The Portmanteau? Or my mind? OK so yeah MF is quite straightforwardly hot but admitting to fancying him in Fish Tank – well we thought we were the only ones when we wrote about that a year ago. And John Terry. I thought nobody fancied John Terry. Whenever I mention my crush on John Terry, people look at me with disdain. Well now I know that I’m not alone. As I’ve said before, he is quite simply, incredibly handsome. And Nicholas Hoult – yeah that’s very understandable. He’s got a lovely smile and always seems like a nice guy when I spy on him at parties.

For me this article just reinforces the point that Christa and I should be BFFs. And it seems like it struck a chord with more than just me as an extract was printed in last Saturday’s Times and the Daily Mail did a little piece on the article too.

Another girl who I should be BFFs with is actor/muse/girlfriend of Mark Ronson/generally cool French person Josephine De La Baume. I’ve often see her around at parties and shows and looked on jealously as she smiled and chatted to all her really stylish French acquaintances. I’ve stayed in the corner of the room munching on canapés as she’s glided about in clothes I can’t afford. But recently I came to notice her in a different light. I happened to be in a hotel she was checking out of, and I watched on (in true stalkery fashion) as she realised that she – or the hotel – had mislaid some very expensive clothes she’d borrowed. There was lots of checking and re-checking bags and desperate phone calls were made to staff who may have seen the dresses last. And in all of this, she remained calm. I mean I would have lost my temper. Well, actually, no I wouldn’t – I, like most people, only unleash my screaming temper tantrums on those who I love most in the world. Not random concierge staff. But I would have gotten tetchy. She, on the other hand, remained remarkably calm even though she was obviously concerned with how she’s just lost thousands of pounds worth of stuff. Celebrities are always nice in interviews but it was lovely to see somebody being so polite and easy-going when there was nobody watching. Well, nobody besides me. Incidentally, it all ended happily as the dresses turned up in the end. LE

Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Watson, Schmatson; Haircut, Schmaircut

Emma Watson got a haircut. Now – as you might recall – we’re not the biggest Emma Watson fans here at The Portmanteau. It’s not that we have anything against the Harry Potter star per se; it’s just that we don’t get it. She’s a pretty-ish actor who stars in some films about witchcraft or something. Why all the hoopla and lucrative advertising contracts? OK yeah Harry Potter is apparently very popular (my attempt to engage with the movie franchise ended in a 3 hour snooze at the cinema) but this weird obsession with Emma Watson goes way beyond the normal attention paid to a young actor who has been in some high-grossing movies. Watson is feted as a style icon. I can accept that my views on Harry Potter are unpopular and I readily admit that I know very little about JK Rowling’s creations but fashion – fashion I know. And Emma Watson’s style icon status is wholly undeserved. She seems to have acquired the tag after doing nothing but turning up to premieres and parties in boring, blah, way-too-old-for-her ensembles. Or even if the dress isn’t too old for her, like this Rodarte number for example, she somehow manages to make it dull. A lot of it is down to the make-up and posing. She’s kind of mousy – sorry – so she should really learn to brighten things up with orangey red or bright pink lipsticks. Also forget about mumsy brown eye shadow – you were born in 1990 for crying out loud! I doubt she cares what I think though as she garners huge praise every time she goes anywhere. Even The Daily Mail has never said anything vaguely mean about EW and they don’t hold back when it comes to red carpet criticism.

Anyway, she got her hair cut. It’s really short. And everybody is saying it’s nice. Except it’s not really. I completely recognise the impulse to cut off all your hair; I hate too-long, Amish-style hair. I think those girls who are proud that they can sit on their hair are creepy, especially when their hair is straight and mousy brown. I want to run after them with highlighting kits and scissors. “At least cut a fringe into it,” I long to scream. But short hair – properly short like Emma Watson’s – is really hard to pull off. Vogue put together this slideshow of the best of the short haircuts and while some people do carry it off – Audrey Hepburn, Jean Seberg, Halle Berry, Ginnifer Goodwin – others, like Kate Moss, Keira Knightley and Sienna Miller, look way better with longer locks. And those people are really pretty and don’t have to worry about double chins and the like; things that prohibit the rest of us from cutting all our hair off. So yeah Emma Watson even though you actually took a sartorial or trichotological or whatever risk for once, you have still failed to win me over. LE

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

The News

Lara Stone is on the cover of this month’s Vogue and in the accompanying interview she talks about her battle with alcoholism and how she spent 4 weeks in Rehab this year. When we saw her at the Mulberry party at LFW, we did remark that she looked rather serious and sober, but this revelation would seem to explain her abstemious attitude. Also at that party was David Walliams – no surprises there as Walliams loves a good fashion bash – but here’s the surprise: according to the Daily Mail website, the pair have been "have been spending nights together watching TV and going out for secret dinners around London” and are “head-over-heels in love”. WTF? Okay I could deal with David Walliams sleazing on Abi Titmuss and Patsy Kensit, but Lara Stone aka the prettiest girl in the world?! This is the weirdest couple ever. I know that pretty girls often go for funny guys but why didn’t she choose Noel Fielding or my other The Portmanteau half’s crush, David Mitchell. Okay yeah I guess that would be pushing it. That would be the weirdest couple ever.

In other news, Suri Cruise has totally lost it. This time last year, we were so into her. I was obsessed with her little dresses and even cut my hair into a Suri-esque bob. But yeah we’re over it. Sorry Surs, but leggings under dresses are so 2 years ago and the freaking out in the ice-cream parlour incident was so not cool. In fact we have coined a new phrase – Pulling A Suri – which basically means that you go nuts/start crying uncontrollably for no particular reason. I’ll put that into a sentence for you: I was walking down Holland Park Avenue and a bus splashed me and then a cyclist shouted at me and I totally lost it and started bawling; basically I pulled a Suri. LE

Lara Stone in December's Vogue

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Then We Came to The End

The September issues have hit the shelves, my traditional signifier that summer is officially O.V.E.R. And I can breathe a little easier. There was one dodgy period when the forecasters were frightening me with their talk of heatwaves, but thankfully that didn’t last for much more than a week. Yes, summer is over and I survived with my opaque tights still intact. I just don’t do summer – much more of an autumn / winter girl and there are so many treats to look forward to this season - The September Issue, scarves, The Sartorialist goes from blog to book, velvet, fashion week, Coco on the cover of Love, our first look at Dasha's Pop, autumn leaves on Holland Park Avenue, even woollier tights. I kinda knew it was all going to be fine when I saw the cover of July’s Vogue, usually the sunniest and therefore, for me, the worst issue of the year. But there were no scary cover lines proclaiming the Summer of Love, no swimsuits. Just Julianne Moore photographed by Alasdair McLellan in all her fiery, autumnal glory. But how did Alex and Co. capture the mood and sense that summer would be such a washout? If life at Vogue House ever gets too much, a career at the Met Office could be on the cards. NOK

Thursday, July 9, 2009

Sheer Silliness?

Christian Dior

Christian Lacroix

Black opaque tights have made getting dressed very easy for the past few years. Just pull on a pair (or I often resort to two pairs for extra cover) of M & S 80 deniers and forget about stubble, pasty skin and too short skirts. Simple. Obvs there are summer issues but heatwaves don’t last very long round these parts so there is no point devoting too much time and effort to fake tan and epilation ordeals.

However, the era of easy bottom-half dressing may be coming to an end. It seems that sheer tights, including the polka dot variety, are making a comeback. There were lots of sheer tights and stockings at Christian Dior and Christian Lacroix at haute couture week. And yes, I know that the haute couture catwalks aren’t exactly renowned for wearable styles but sheer tights were also featured in this month’s Vogue; on Lily Donaldson in a Patrick Demarchelier shoot that showcases the best of the Parisian autumn/winter collections and in the magazine’s more accessible pages – More Dash Than Cash.

Now this is worrying because sheer tights are actually far trickier to pull of than even bare legs. There is something about the pale greyish film of a pair of 10 or 20 denier hose that highlights the ruddiness of the knees and the thickness of the ankles. And so I think that for this reason, sheer tights will stay on the pages of magazines, rather than be something that is embraced by the masses. Then again, the popularity of crop tops and harem pants will testify to the fact that you can never underestimate people's willingness to jump on a trend bandwagon, however unflattering it may be. LE

Vogue August 2009

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

One shop we're not so fond of.....

The Mirror is today reporting that Sienna Miller was “airbrushed to within an inch of her life” for American Vogue’s September ‘07 cover according to the documentary, The September Issue. Like, duh. Sienna’s camp has sensibly responded to the furore, stating that Sienna is always airbrushed for magazine covers. Anybody who has ever stepped inside a newsagent will know that it is not only Sienna who has undergone some photoshopping for American Vogue. Kate Moss was barely recognisable when she graced the cover of the Age issue last August, her skin a creepy orange colour and her eyes devoid of any kind of life. I fully understand magazines retouching pictures to remove the odd spot or obliterate some downy fluff but when the subjects cease to look like themselves, you have to wonder if photoshopping has gone too far. The King of the retouching tool is Pascal Dangin - in one issue of US Vogue (March 2008) alone he doctored 107 ads and 36 editorial images along with rendering Drew Barrymore virtually unrecognizable on the cover. Magazines are quick to defend the practice, claiming that people don’t expect reality when they buy a fashion magazine. Alexandra Shulman has been quoted as saying “We are not in the business of portraying reality all the time and people buy magazines like Vogue in order to look at a kind of perfection.”

Fair enough, but the thing is I don’t find thinned noses, sharpened jaw lines and strangely elongated legs perfect. The most beautiful portraits of Kate Moss or Sienna Miller are not those in which they look the least real. The photos of Sienna and Savannah Miller in August 2007's British Vogue didn’t prompt feelings of envy at their perfection or a desire to rush out and buy the Twenty8Twelve clothes they were modelling, but rather a bewildered curiosity at how the retouching team thought that anybody would believe that those were actually Savannah’s thighs. The delicate and natural portraits by Corinne Day - a photographer famed for her raw style - were merely diluted by the overuse of photoshop.

Kate on the cover of American Vogue

Savannah Miller in British Vogue